Code of the midwest Are you sick of your new neighbors complaining about country life now that they've made the move from town? Then this tongue-in-cheek code of country living may be the perfect house-warming gift. Ah, the sights, the sounds, the smells. By James Fashing, Holly Hollenbeck, Mitch Jayne and James D. Ritchie

Some families take to country living right away. Others find that bucolic blessings wear thin with the first heavy rain or extended power outage.

Life in the country is different from life in the city. Not necessarily better nor worse, just different. Anyone planning a move to a rural area should keep that fact in mind.

For one thing, you have to rely on your own resources more and on public services less. And, you cannot automatically assume that services will be provided. The cost of a road, water supply, electrical and telephone services and other necessities of modern living should be accurately estimated before you sign any agreement.

Don't take the real estate agent's word that the county road will be paved shortly, or that the power company will string lines to your homesite free of charge, or that a good, deep well can be had for $300. It's not that real estate agents are any more dishonest than the rest of us. But they get paid when they sell property. Their objectivity may be affected by their zeal.

Make sure you size up what could happen to your property and your lifestyle should nature, man or beast turn nasty. Your family's happiness with rural living may hinge largely on how well and how wisely you choose your country acreage.

If you're not sure you should move to the country, we hope these bits of information and tips will help your decision.

Road Rules

• Rural roads are different than paved streets. County governments have hundreds or thousands of miles of roads to maintain and do it with budgets and manpower that are smaller than the street department of a medium-sized town. Many roads are graded only once a year, if that often. If the county blades snow at all, it will probably be only along school-bus routes.
• Learn to live with fugitive earth (dust). Field work and gravel roads generate dust. Gravel roads are well traveled during the busy farm months when you may want to have your windows open for fresh, clean country air. Dust will gravitate from roads to your house. You'll either clean more often or learn how to live with a little fugitive earth.
• Be prepared for flats. Gravel's hard on tires. Plan to replace your tires at least once every other year. Miracles do happen--sometimes you can go two years without a flat!
• On gravel roads, trucks move over for cars; well, generally. If you drive an expensive import, don't count on trucks coming to a complete stop. Just pull into a driveway to reduce damage from flying rocks.
• Commuting does three things to people: 1. It makes crummy drivers of the impatient. 2. It makes obstacles of everyone else. 3. It makes your car worth less than you owe on it.
• Learn to give tractors and other farm equipment leeway. Remember, tractors, large or small, are similar to tanks. They do not drive very fast, unless you try to stop one. Never, never, never pass a tractor and stop short to turn. Otherwise, you'll see what a disk does to that newly waxed car finish.

Mother Nature has an attitude

• Sure that homesite is beautiful. But if it's at the end of a gravel road that crosses a creek, you better have another exit in mind. That meandering brook may be well behaved now, but it can turn into a raging torrent in a heavy downpour. If flooding is bad enough, it may not limit your coming and going just when water is high but can wash out bridges and low-water crossings that may take days or weeks to repair.
• That gentle, country breeze is capable of wind gusts that can damage everything in sight--house, trees, cars, equipment, swing sets and grandparents. Wind can be stronger in the country than in town because there are fewer structures to block it.

Neighbors, neighbors, neighbors

• You can't pick your relatives, and you can't pick your neighbors. In the suburbs, rules and regulations mandate house color, grass height and number of parked cars. No such rules exist in the country. So even if you keep your house in tip-top shape, a new neighbor could paint his house hot pink and neon green and pile up junk vehicles. If you're lucky, he'll let his grass grow high enough to cover the majority.
• You won't always be sleeping to the sounds of crickets. Your nearest neighbor may be a farmer who lives a mile away, but his property starts where yours ends. That means some late night in spring he'll be rushing to plant before the rain comes. You'll need to crank the window shut to crowd out the roar of a 200-horse, diesel tractor that goes back and forth with clocklike frequency. (By the way, don't call to complain--turn on the AC and some soft music.)

Services

• Remember that response times for emergency services are longer. Police, fire and ambulance vehicles can be blocked by washed-out bridges and blown-down trees. County and special-road districts cannot afford to send bulldozers and road graders with each police car or fire truck.
• If you plan to build some distance from a public road, you are immediately in the road maintenance business. The county will not maintain your half-mile-long driveway. Unless you are on good terms with a neighbor who owns a snow blade, you'll need to acquire your own snow-removal equipment.
• Snow days are vacation days. Just because you can't get to work, doesn't mean your employer will understand. There will be days you can't get to work when your boss wants you to. The county won't and can't move hundreds of tons of snow just for you.
• Do not take phone lines for granted. Phone lines are not as plentiful in the country. Many times companies will only supply one line to an area. That means party lines. Party lines allow only one residence to be on the phone line at a time. If you need a dependable, open phone line for job or Internet usage, check out the situation before you move. In some rural areas, Internet services are not readily available. In most cases, you can get your own private line--if you are willing to pay for the work.

Access

• Learn to deal with the folks who have "always used this shortcut" across your land to get to the river.
• Complications can multiply if you buy "landlocked" property (with no access to a public road). In this case, you'll have to negotiate an easement across a neighboring landowner's property. In most states, you must be granted an easement for access across another person's property to a public road. But that doesn't mean the landowner must give you an easement. To the extent that your road reduces the full use and enjoyment of his property, you will be expected to pay for it. And he can demand and enforce that you install and maintain gates where your road enters and leaves his property. This can be especially inconvenient for guests.

Livestock and wildlife

• Livestock and their tending are associated with natural odors. Large numbers of livestock can smell proportionately. What more do you need to know? Build your house accordingly.
• Horses, cows, sheep and assorted livestock enjoy variety. Don't be surprised to find hogs on your front porch or a cow in your yard. Your neighbor may have a good fence, but livestock tend to find ways to get to the greener grass. When they do, they may damage your property.
• Learn to make smart animal decisions. At some time you will have to choose between taking to the ditch or taking out the neighbor's pet or even Bambi himself. For your own good and for the good of those around you, take the logical route, not the emotional one.
• Critters don't understand property boundaries. Raccoons, deer, bugs and mice don't know the house on top of their terra firma is off limits. It is up to you to take precautions.
• Skunks stink, dead or alive. Their only natural enemies are car bumpers and 12 gauges.

Odds and ends that need mentioning

• Prepare to learn the ratio between size of the "No Hunting or Trespassing" sign and the number, caliber and frequency of bullet holes.
• Living in the country can also bring interesting people to your home. Prepare to learn instant character assessment. When someone pounds on your door at 3 a.m., you'll need to sort the good from the bad and the ugly.
• City and townsfolk now think of you as the friendly animal shelter for mean dogs and pregnant cats who can shred sheet metal. You'll need a ready strategy.
• Now that you've become your own fire department, you're expected to be responsible for your own homemade variety. You will be blamed for any misuse.

We based Today's Farmer's Code of the Midwest on a similar one created by John Clarke, a county commissioner in Colorado. Clarke developed a code to warn city residents of what they'd find in rural Colorado. Complaints from newcomers in his county got to be too much and too unreasonable. Click here to read his Code of the West.