OK. There was this Englishman, a Frenchman and the U.S. ambassador to France. No. Really. It's not the opening line of a joke. This trio was on a public radio program discussing biotechnology in general and European acceptance of U.S. food products in particular. The conversation was enlightening and added yet another twist to the already complex interrelationship of biotechnology, U.S. food exports and the European Union.

The Frenchman enthused for an extended period on the French reverence for food. Food comprises all things cultural in the French culinary soul, he explained. Gourmands are at the heart of French life and community. The family and other intimate relationships are built around food and the art and practice of preparation and consumption. Many other continental Europeans share this capacity, although, of course, to a lesser degree.

That, said the Frenchman, is why the French have not, cannot and will not accept the imperialistic efforts of Americans to force genetically altered food down their more refined French gullets. (I might have added a few words of my own. But I've retained the original attitude and "imperialist" sentiment.)

In keeping with the stereotypic tone of this performance, the Englishman chortled and interrupted throughout the Frenchman's monologue. When the Frenchman finally shut up, the Englishman launched into a contrary assault on all things European and all things French. It was a wonderful demonstration of how those two nations bicker more than confined children and once fought a war that lasted 100 years.

What the Frenchman is really saying, explained the Englishman, is that they will defend their last bastion of cultural sovereignty--food.

Americans, the Englishman said, don't understand that their national focus on individualism is what makes the United States unique. The European model is structured on royalty, tradition and national sovereignty. Europeans fervently believe in the superiority of their national institutions, whereas Americans fervently believe in the potential of individuals. The distinction makes for U.S. governmental processes that are reliable because they are structured to make sure no individual suffers. European institutions make sure systems don't suffer.

Consider, he said, that today's global society threatens the essence of European sovereignty. The very concept, he said, is under continuous assault. Look no further than the Euro (which has made a turmoil of everyday fiscal life), the Internet (of which 60 percent is U.S. content and English language) and European culture (which is being undermined by the United States through manners, movies, music and literature). All of these sacred institutions, according to the European mindset, have been defiled by their coarser American counterparts.

Europeans are tired of being led by the United States, said the Englishman. But now they've found one last hectare of sovereignty to defend. Fortunately for you Americans, said the Englishman, they'll defend it like Europeans. In more diplomatic terms, you'll win eventually.

I do think "Remember the Maginot line" makes for a nice rallying cry. The Maginot line, if you recall, was the infamous French fortification facing Germany. In World War II, the Germans simply sidestepped it to invade France.

Oh. And the U.S. ambassador to France who was on the program? He didn't add to the discussion. He could barely be heard above a background din and had to hang up the phone halfway into the radio program. Why? A loud Parisian demonstration outside the embassy. In a final twist of irony, the crowd was protesting the U.S. death penalty.