COUNTRY HUMOR
Educational TV
By Mitch Jayne

Nothing could have surprised me more on my last visit to Blairs Creek than to see a dish antenna perched on the roof of Zeke and Perletta Dooley's log cabin. One small step for most men but a giant leap for the Dooleys, who only gave in to "lectric" last year.

MITCH: Howdy folks! I see you're hooked up to the rest of the world.

ZEKE: Well now, the kids done that. Hit'uz in memory of us bein' married sixty year. Perletta's the one craved it.

PERLETTA: Fiddlesticks, Zeke'l. You're the one stares at it most of the time. Zeke'ls afeard he'll miss a chance to catch the weatherman getting it wrong.

MITCH: So what do you watch mostly, Perletta?

PERLETTA: Well, I'm partial to my stories. I like that one about the little house on the prairie a lot.

ZEKE: Don't guess you'd want to own up to watchin' wrasslin', would ye?

MITCH: You watch wrestling, Perletta?

PERLETTA: Well, it's mainly fer the excitement. Big boys a'flingin' each other around reminds me of my brothers growin' up.

ZEKE: Perletta takes it serious. Other night one of them picked up a cheer and fetched t'other lad a lick and Perletta scolded like a squirrel, says to the referee feller, "Now he used furniture, that ain't fair!" jist like he could hear her.

PERLETTA: Well somebody had ort to speak up. That referee feller was blind to everthang that Hulk Hogan done to that other poor soul. I figure he must be some kin to the Hulk boy and was bound to favor him. I know they used to be Hogans all up and down this creek, and you was to whup one, you had them all to whup.

ZEKE: I cain't convince Perletta that them wrasslers ain't out to salivate each other.

PERLETTA: You see a person thowed like a horseshoe, Ezek'l, to land on his skull bone and tell me that's play actin'? I say, one of these days that's the way he'll go!

ZEKE: Perletta takes it personal, thinks those fellers is serious as politicians when they go to blackguardin' and gougin' each other.

MITCH: Not to change the subject, but are you folks watching the politicians this year?

ZEKE: That aint changin' the subject much. I don't know, but a wrasslin' match would be a good way to decide yer candidate.

MITCH: A wrestling match? What would that prove, Zeke?

ZEKE: Wouldn't prove nothin' no more than all the talkin' does, but it would give a person some entertainment fer his tax dollar.

PERLETTA: And have a womern, or a farmer for a referee.

MITCH: Why a woman or a farmer, Perletta?

PERLETTA: Because they know that whoever wins ain't gonna benefit them none.

MITCH: And some folks say TV isn't educational!

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