One of the oldest statements about crime is that it doesn't pay. I've often thought about the time Dewey Byrd, our small-town police chief, lectured one of the town's young ne'er-do-wells about this. The boy had been caught shoplifting magazines for the third time from the local drug store.

"Now I know your daddy has told you that stealin' don't pay," said Dewey, "but I'm here to tell you it's way worse than that; stealin'll cost blisters on you!" At which point he took off his belt and demonstrated.

Times have changed, but the fact that crime costs more than it pays is still with us. A lawman I met one time in Dallas explained it to me. Al was a big, good-natured Texan who had become a police officer right out of high school and knew all about people who try to make a living at crime.

"Most of these folks ain't got instinct to do something right, much less wrong, so they mess up," said Al. "I know a feller 40 years old who's spent 20 years of it lookin' out a jail house winder. Now you'd think he'd absorb something from that, but the last time they had him in a lineup, they asked everybody to say 'Gimme your money or I'll shoot you,' because the robber had worn a mask. The witness needed to pick out his voice. Come his turn, this fool spoke right up. He said 'That ain't what I said!'"

Al was the very person to explain why crime doesn't pay. Most criminals never quite master their craft. He told me this story:

Al was cruising alone in his patrol car when he spotted a well-known burglar carrying a huge grocery bag down the street. There had been a lot of theft in the neighborhood, so Al got out and stopped the man.

"Earl," he said, "I'd be obliged if you'd show me what all you got in that grocery poke."

"Well," said Earl, reaching into the sack, "I got a clock radio and some no account jewelry an' a watch.... and this here automatic pistol," which he took out and pointed at Al.

Al had arrested Earl a dozen times for small theft, and he was dumbfounded at this change of tactic. What made it worse, he said, was that some curious passersby had stopped to gawk. What follows is Al's own account of what happened next.

"I looked at him and said 'Earl, either shoot me or give me that gun. This is embarassin' you a'holding a pistol on me, and me a Po-leece!'

"And Earl, he thought about that and said 'Well all right,' and he gave me the gun and said 'Al, I wouldn't have shot you.' I looked down and saw he was right. It was one of them fancy cigarette lighters.

"'Earl,' I said, 'Crime don't pay, but in your case, it's plumb ridiculous.'"