COUNTRY CORNER

It is time for farmers to get a little more shade.
By Steve Fairchild

The most common type of cancer in the United States is skin cancer. It accounts for more than a million new cases each year. And it’s probably hard to find a group of farmers over 60 without at least one being able to show a scar on the nose or ear where the good doctor has cut out a chunk of basal cell carcinoma.

Of course, the main cause of basal cell carcinoma and other forms of skin cancer is exposure to excessive amounts of sun, especially over long periods of time. It’s easy to reckon why it’s so common among farmers.

The same sun that brings life to their crops is making a scar-patched mess out of farmers’ noses and ears out there, and trust me, the dermatologist does all right without the extra business.

I’ve never been considered much of a fashion maven. In fact, the women in the office sometimes laugh at what I put on. But I’ve got a modest sartorial proposal for the industry. Let’s bring back the brimmed hat.

It has long struck me as ironic that equipment manufacturers stick caution stickers on every available flat surface of moving equipment but give away baseball caps as promotions. To their credit, equipment is safer than ever, but sticking out the side of those caps, fully exposed to the sun, ears still singe across the Midwest. Or consider the chemical jug with the multi-fold label that extends accordion style for a quarter of a mile. It exhorts every safety precaution thinkable, but the hat with the same herbicide logo is a baseball cap—and little bits of a farmer’s nose are left on the dermatologist’s floor. Legal departments have a grand way of accounting for liability on the home front. Maybe legal should talk to the agencies that decide what trinkets go for sales promotions.

If only it were so easy. I shouldn’t be so hard on the companies that give away baseball caps. We do it at MFA, too. It’s what farmers want. It’s the style. It’s fashion. And while farm fashion isn’t decided on the catwalk in Paris or New York (for which we should be thankful), it does exist.

A cattleman in southwest Missouri is at home in a straw Stetson. It’s the fashion there. But a row cropper in southeast Iowa sticks to a baseball cap. He’s not a cowboy, you know. In Australia, under one of those famous ozone holes, skin cooks quickly. Down there the fashion among farmers is to keep their noses and ears intact. They wear brimmed hats. And they look cool.

In light of my proposal to bring back the brimmed hat, I did some research to see what the dermatologist thought would be best.

“The best style to wear is commonly known as the ‘French Foreign Legion’ hat. This style features the generous brim of a baseball cap and adds a protective cloth to cover the neck and ears,” said one source. A hard sell, I think—French and definitely not cool.

“Another style to consider is the deerstalker cap, a double-brimmed style that covers the neck. The deerstalker style is most commonly associated with the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes.”

She didn’t mention if it came with a pipe and a sidekick. Again, tough sell.

In additional research I found some handsome fine-weave Panama hats. They were something I figure farmers would wear, but at $225 a pop, I don’t think many would pay for.

So do your own research and find a brimmed hat you can tolerate. Your ears and nose will last longer. And if this bold new fashion catches on, we’ll have one ancillary benefit: our misguided youth won’t be able to wear them sideways.